Her nose tickles igniting a soft flame in her eyes. Yet soft, the dry sensation overwhelms her throat, her eyes, and her body as it sighs in defeat. She doesn’t know why. She never knows. The awareness to cry is the only thing that will save her from the exhaustion, the doubt, the heaviness. Already bad enough, the feeling was but a feeling which she could discover no more; impossible to distinguish.
She began to go hopeless, hopeless in mind; and though of course she continues to take a comfort in defeat for relief of her spirit, she sees and she has seen the outcome. There is no reason to feel such angst toward herself, towards the world around her. Her reasons are clueless and jumbled in a mess of wonder… but she still feels it.
Trying to stay intact with her warm skin, the tears drip coolly over her face until dropping in defeat. The pressure in her throat escapes with a soft yet strong gasp of a cry. She chokes on it for the questionable reasons as to why she is feeling the way she is, but that only makes her gasps turn into wails.
It seems her mental subconscious has no control; no control over what her physical senses project. She is innocent to what her body wants compared to what her eyes desire. Weak and vulnerable characteristics can be controlled with her mind set yet it seems she has no choice but to show the world just those very things. Not realizing what is wrong is the wrong in the first place. Slowly deteriorating under the pressure of what the body desires, her conscious shuts down and finally lets her physical state take over with a great sob of defeat.
Authors Note: Dr. Jekyll might be anything but evil at this point of the story. We’ve only read a few chapters but what I’ve personally took note of was that maybe Dr. Jekyll is being forced to be the man he becomes at night using quotes like, “I have no choice.” Physical urges of Mr. Hyde against the mentally stable conscious of Dr. Jekyll, might be fighting for different outcomes. This story seems to be the only way I can relate to this certain feeling of confusion; feelings, emotions, and physical states take over while your mind and subconscious sits by and waits patiently for the storm to past.
Ah Miranda this is fabulous. I read this twice since class today. This absolutely relates directly to the characters in the story and the emotions of not being able to explain what you are feeling, or what he is feeling. Awesome job!
ReplyDeleteWow! I really like this Miranda! We were talking about this in class and I read a little bit of your rough draft and I was excited to see where you would take it; and honestly I love the final piece! I enjoyed reading this, good job!
ReplyDeleteMiranda, this is amazing! Very good writing. As I was reading it, I felt like I was in the story, and that's a sign of a really good writer! The only thing I'd say you could improve on is maybe putting the author's note at the beginning so the reader knows what's going on before they start reading. But amazing job(:
ReplyDeleteThis might not make sense but I loved how you dropped us in the middle of a story, like we don't know why she is upset or anything but that's why I LOVE it! The description is incredible and I just flat out love it..and I just read your short story over..again..and I might go back for one more..that's a hint your short story is amazing too..
ReplyDeleteLove you!